5 Best Ways to Move on From an Ex You Still Love
- Getting over an ex you once loved begins with severing contact and letting go of the relationship you thought you could have had.
- Our past relationships last forever in our memories, how we feel when we think of them, and in the lessons they taught us.
- Moving on from a relationship that wasn’t working ultimately is about loving yourself which can be very difficult.
5 Best ways to heal emotionally after a breakup, including the importance of cutting off contact, setting healthy boundaries, and prioritizing self-care. Discover how being your own best friend plays a crucial role in the process, allowing you to move forward with resilience.
1.Cut off contact
Take a break from talking to your ex. It’s okay not to be friends right away. Keeping them in your life doesn’t show maturity; focusing on your well-being does.
Instead of clinging to the idea of staying friends to keep the relationship alive, give yourself time to heal. Being your own best friend is crucial post-breakup so avoid situations that don’t make you feel good. Politely tell your ex you need space; don’t just disappear.
If you have to stay in touch with kids or share responsibilities, remember being friendly is different from being friends. True friendship requires caring for each other’s well-being. After a breakup, it’s uncertain if both can genuinely provide that care. Being friendly means acknowledging the past love without expecting ongoing support.
2.Let go of the fantasy
Many folks don’t realize that much of the pain after a breakup isn’t about the real relationship they had.
Breakups usually have reasons, often not sudden, with ongoing issues. The fights and hurt feelings stem from a list of actions or inactions. People often don’t desire the exact past relationship; what they grieve is the ideal one they thought could happen if circumstances were different.
Yet, that envisioned relationship wasn’t real. It’s tough to let go of a dream. In the beginning, expectations were set based on positive developments, but the reality encompasses the entire journey, not just the promising start.
Our minds tend to shift painful memories to the background as we try to heal, leaving us longing for the good times and idealizing the person.
To overcome this, write down every painful memory and read it aloud, vividly recalling those moments until the pain subsides. It’s not about staying angry but understanding the full truth of why the relationship ended.
Letting go of these events is crucial for forgiveness and healing, but acknowledging and accepting them is the first step.
3. Make peace with the past
When someone treats you badly or does something hurtful, it’s normal to feel angry. Anger signals situations that aren’t good for you and can help you separate from an unhealthy relationship.
But if you hang on to past anger and resentment, it affects your future. It’s especially painful when someone you love does something that makes you question who you thought they were. Betrayal hurts, yet letting their actions control your ability to move forward means they still have power over your life. Forgiveness isn’t about excusing bad behavior; it’s about freeing yourself emotionally.
Forgiving is easier when you shift focus from specific events to understanding the perspectives of those involved. Most people don’t aim to hurt others; often, they make choices to feel better. While not justifying their actions, seeing their perspective can make events less personal.
It’s also easier to forgive when you see someone as a whole person, flaws and all. If anger lingers, remember the good qualities you saw in them initially—we all have flaws and make mistakes.
4. Know it’s OK to still love them:
Love is never wrong. Experiencing love is a gift, but maturity means recognizing love alone may not sustain a relationship. Timing, values, and choices also play crucial roles. Moving on doesn’t always mean ending the love; sometimes, it’s about wanting the best for them, even if it means not being together.
Love comes in various forms, evolving over time. Let romantic love evolve into caring and compassion, facilitating healing.
Much of the pain after a breakup comes from perceived loss. Viewing it as a transition, not just a loss, can ease the hurt. Relationships last in memories, feelings, personal growth, and lessons learned.
5. Love yourself more:
Moving on from a relationship means loving yourself. This can be challenging. Believing you deserve a loving relationship requires a positive self-view. If negative thoughts dominate, seeking professional help is okay. Self-forgiveness is part of self-love; dwelling on what could have been is futile. Instead, turn pain into growth.
Every relationship teaches us something, providing clarity about what makes us happy. Acknowledging your role in what went wrong is part of the learning process. Relationships involve a dynamic where both contribute. Understanding your role empowers you to make positive changes.
If you think changing your behavior, like setting boundaries or improving communication, could help, embrace the opportunity. Relationships reflect what we project into the world. A relationship isn’t a failure just because it ends; if you grow and learn, it served a purpose and was a success.
